The billboard song

Grandpa Fred used to recite a poem that fascinated me as a child. Where did he learn it? School? Campfires? Uncle Charley? The fraternity? I can certainly see its lyrics becoming a bit more "off color" in that situation.

Sadly, I never wrote it down or recorded it as a child and there are many, many, many versions online. This is about the best I can do:

As I was walking down the street a billboard caught my eye.

The advertising that was there would make you laugh or cry.

The wind and rain had almost washed that old billboard away.

But the advertising painted there would have that billboard say:

Have a smoke of Coca-Cola. Chew catsup cigarettes.

Watch Lillian Russell wrestle with a box of Cascarets.

Pork and beans will meet tonight in a finish fight.

Hear Chauncey DePew speak upon Sapolio tonight.

Bay rum is good for horses; it is the best in town.

Castoria cures the measles, if you pay ten dollars down.

Teeth extracted without pain, a nickel or half a dime.

Ingersolls are selling now, a little behind the times.

Chew Wrigleys for that headache. Eat Campbells for that cough.

There's going to be a swimming bee at the village watering trough.

Buy a case of ginger-ale, it makes the best of broth.

Shinola's good to curl the hair, it will not rub it off!

Author unknown 

Apparently as it changed over the decades people began singing it to Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious which curiously works.

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